tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21390416867811957042024-03-12T20:56:45.680-06:00Life At The Rocket RanchAshhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-27651223314514307942012-06-16T15:54:00.000-06:002012-06-16T15:54:15.350-06:00So I'm about to get a puppy....And what exactly am I thinking? I'm not sure.<br />
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Over a year ago there was a lot of change in this household. I gained a new family member with Walter, but lost a best friend shortly after that when Jackie lost her battle with cancer. Around December of this year I couldn't stand the quiet in the apartment. There was something missing. Jackie's loss had clearly left a crater around here, and there were starting to be signs it was time to bring another terrier into the fold.<br />
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I knew trying to fill those paws was going to be a challenge. The friend of a lifetime was gone.<br />
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I searched the state of Colorado first. None of the breeders really clicked with me.<br />
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I moved further afield. I chose breeders by where I wanted to go pick up a puppy. Boston ranked high on my list since I have great friends up there and spent a part of my life there. I found two amazing people up there with great dogs. One had bad timing for a litter. The other and I clicked.<br />
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And this is how the newest family member came to join the family.<br />
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She comes home in July and it is sure to be a journey. Terriers and puppy hood are not for wimps. If this girl is half as wonderful as her father and mother, I will have won the terrier lotto again.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-82315981588601607752012-02-04T22:26:00.002-07:002012-02-04T22:31:46.749-07:00Death Defying Life LeapsI am slowly being forced to take a deep look at where I am going in the future. This scares me. For years I always knew what the next step was. High school it was college. College it was a job. Start the job, start my graduate degree. Halfway through the masters degree, well, I'm here on the edge trying to figure out what I am doing. <br />
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Death defying life leap time.<br />
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I have some ideas of what I want to do. I want to stay in the space industry. I love what I do. But then I have to toss in the questions. Do I want to stay in Denver? Do I want to be a big system person or a detail person? Do I want to focus on one system or a vehicle? Do I want to even work on the vehicle? These are just the tip of the iceberg. <br />
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The most important one and the scariest one for me: will I always be an engineer? I worked for years to become an engineer. I am getting my masters in engineering. Engineering is no walk in the park. I also chose to always take the routes that would challenge me. Am I OK with giving up a part of who I am? <br />
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At this point I know a few things: I need to work with people, I am an integration person, and I may not always do hard core engineering, but I will always be an engineer. That is a stain you can never rub off.<br />
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The leaps of faith I will be taking in the next few years will define my trajectory. I used to say that I was going to figure everything out once I finished my masters but it is sounding like I may need to make choices faster than that. Right now it just may be small leaps of faith. Leaps that I am going in the right direction. If I had to answer now what I wanted to do when I grow up, I could tell you. It may change though. I haven't seen enough. I don't know enough. This is where the faith comes into play. <br />
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Have a little faith it will work out and my death defying life leaps will lead to many nights of dancing in the moonlight.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Death Defying Life Leaps" and "Dancing in the moonlight" phrasing is from Tajar Tales by Jane Shaw Ward. Do you know what a Tajar is? Well, it is something like a tiger, something like a badger, and something like a jaguar. If you should seem him once you'd forget what he looked like. But if you should see him twice you'd forget to forget what he looked like, and that would be quite fatal. </span></i>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-12704695888575126512011-11-05T22:15:00.000-06:002011-11-05T22:15:52.160-06:00Who Inspires You?<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have recently been asked to go back to my high school for an alumni math/science/technology fields event. To quote the email "</span><span style="font-size: small;">We want a wall of JETS alumnae history to show these students that they are not going to wander aimlessly into their futures, that we have gone before them and that we’re here to light the way." </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The whole I idea I am now the one lighting the way is throwing me off. I am normally the person looking to others for direction and now people are looking to me. When did this switch? When I first saw this email I mentioned it to one of the site guys who has turned into the mentor I never asked for and he told me that not only was I going, I needed to go. I look to him for a lot of guidance and direction right now (for everything from how to pitch a presentation to what football team is going to win this weekend... ) so this was the kick in the pants to know that I had to go. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I still really don't feel like I am able to be that much of a guide since I am still looking to my own mentors daily but this may be where I can inspire. Anyone who has gone through engineering school will tell you it isn't fun. What you get on the other side of engineering school is where things are fun. Engineering school has allowed me to do what I love. I have had to chance to build satellites and robots, and most recently, launch rockets. I've stood on launch pads, in the space shuttle, blow rockets, and in thermal chambers. All because I took the leap of faith called engineering school. I will never know what some of the spacecraft I put up there have done since many are secretive programs, but I can only hope I have made an impact.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have the people around me who continue to inspire me when things get rough and sometimes that is all I need. It amazes me how much a "you can do this" means from a trusted mentor or the proof that someone has gone before me so I am not blazing my own trail. The one person or thing that keeps someone going or points them in the direction they didn't know they wanted to go may be of more use than a guide. Dreams are powerful things and I may be there to prove that they do come true which could be more useful that I thought. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, I hope I don't screw this up. </span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-76975441454310483512011-08-02T20:45:00.000-06:002011-08-02T20:45:54.570-06:00Jackie O<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKNxCZJVMF3MG7mJXR-afMkMRMqG6IPDgRBOv0mzZFtW-_AF5SLOH2jLHQM3JbGhBbi1bkXJtOoCVrv1eVp1IJvU8v60tPTRMVGB-dgu4RZ_NXo7ntREwtMLmNlATSDFWt32hul_CIWm4/s1600/IMG_4322.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKNxCZJVMF3MG7mJXR-afMkMRMqG6IPDgRBOv0mzZFtW-_AF5SLOH2jLHQM3JbGhBbi1bkXJtOoCVrv1eVp1IJvU8v60tPTRMVGB-dgu4RZ_NXo7ntREwtMLmNlATSDFWt32hul_CIWm4/s320/IMG_4322.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Oh Jackie O.<br />
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It has taken me a while to finally get up the guts to try and put a fitting tribute together to a dog that was my better half. She was the peanut butter to my jelly, Batman to my Robin, the other pea in the pod. Jackie and I first met December 28, 2000; she was 6 weeks old, and I was 14. This was the start of a bond that few will ever understand. Jackie picked up her name from my mother who when asked what her name should be answered "Jackie O! She's a Jack Russell of course!" the family friends taking care of her at this point started calling her that and I never could figure something better out to change it. She grew into the name Jackie O very well, never a moment of drama could be missed and her views were always known. <br />
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Her early years where characterized by the typical terrier stubborn streak. House breaking took longer than it should have since she did not have time to stop playing to go outside, but once she finally got it through her head, she never had a mistake. She always challenged rules with an attitude of "wanna make a bet?" but quickly learned what were her toys and what were not. I am still impressed at how quickly she learned that and how she never strayed. I have memories of being woken up at 3 and 4 am with a tennis ball dropping on my head, toy piles under my bed, and licks all over my face to inform me that even if it was the weekend, it was time to get up, now! She would get annoyed when she was left outside for too long since she wanted to be in on the action. <br />
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My mother always said we deserved each other since we were both just as stubborn as the other. Standoffs over something were common. Attempts to wake me with tennis balls lead to a no toys on my bed rule. This rule was constantly challenged with new toys, and on different parts of the bed. Just because no applies on that spot, with that toy, doesn't mean it applies here right? <br />
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Her middle years were where we grew into the duo. Ash and Jack, A&J, whatever you called us, where one was the other was sure to follow. Jackie slept in bed with me since she learned that under the covers was much warmer than on top. (That later translated into cheaper heating bills, so I didn't complain too much when I moved out on my own with her) I couldn't fall asleep without feeling her next to me, and it took a few weeks in college every time I went back to school to get used to not having her next to me. We did terrier trails, horse shows, and everything and anything. She became skilled at navigating airports in her bag and would be waiting in it as soon as she saw it come out so you couldn't forget her. At terrier trails people were impressed with how well we read each other and we consistently cleaned up in youth handler and youth obedience where they mostly judge the duo. I still feel bad for leaving her when I went to college, but she managed to wrap my mother around her front paw. I would come home to a dog that was over weight and running the house. She was always over joyed at seeing me, but she knew the game of ruling the roost was over. It was during this period that she started being able to predict when I would come home. A few days before I would get home from school Jackie would move back into my room with no warning. She did this once when I had given no one warning I was coming, but Jackie knew. She would also stop eating for a few days after I left her. <br />
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Her last two years were the best. I always promised her when I left for school that after I graduated she'd go with me wherever I went. I kept that promise to her and she moved with me to Colorado. She may have had to spend time alone while I was at work but that didn't stop either of us. Where ever she could go, she went. My back seat driver learned how to roll down windows in the car and got very frustrated when child lock was applied. She learned about dog parks and frog hunting at Chatfeild. She almost knocked me on my rear end a few times trying to chase rabbits in snow. She was very picky about her rear end touching snow which made winter very interesting, but it was very Jackie. She was never one to let her views go unknown. If she was not happy with the situation she would happily let you know, or find a way to make herself happy with the situation. Once this involved leaping 3' into the air to pull a stuffed toy out of a grocery bag. Well played, Jacks. She also spend nights sleeping outside the closet where I kept the squeaky toy that had a bed time since it wouldn't die. She was never one to give up easily. <br />
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Last October Jackie was diagnosed with Inflammatory Mammary Carcinoma, a very aggressive form of breast cancer in dogs. We did everything right to try to prevent this from happening. We spayed her before her first heat which should have reduced her chance of mammary cancer by 99.5%, I paid careful attention to her lumps and bumps, and she got all her routine care. She also had to get the most aggressive form of mammary cancer, found in only 5% of all mammary tumors. My girl was quite the fighter though. She fought and fought for about 5 months. Left untreated most dogs make it a month.<br />
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Through those 5 months she showed her true self in many forms. She became the hit of the oncologists office and everyone at the referral hospital knew Jackie O the second we walked in the door. She was a large personality in a small body. Her side effects from chemo were minimal and those that surfaced were faced with chicken broth and rice. She did have to have one tumor removed when she informed me she was going to remove it herself or we were going to have it taken off for her, this was on a Friday afternoon before a long weekend too. Her timing was never a strong point. She then informed me the cone I stuck on her to keep her from removing her staples as well was not to her liking and she pulled it off over night along with some staple rearranging. Our vet joked that Jackie wanted to add her personal touch. Jackie had skill for getting to the last treatment of a chemo protocol and then having a tumor resurface. She finally hit the point where the cancer invaded her lymph system and chemo had really stopped working. At this point I had to make the impossible choice to stop putting her through Chemo and she was given 2-4 weeks.<br />
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Jackie made it almost 4 more weeks. During those few weeks we spent as much time together as we could. I knew those moments could never be reclaimed. On the last day of March she left me. She had stopped eating nearly everything, even baby food which was always a favorite, and the light in her eyes was starting to fade. The little girl who had fought so much was still trying to fight for me as much as I was trying to fight for her. Her personality was still there since she was voicing her views and telling people off until the end. Her new brother (Walter) would not step foot near me when she was on my lap for fear she might get him. Letting her go is the hardest choice I have ever had to make. Our vet who claims to never cry since she has to keep her distance started crying that day. She was the one who pointed out to me only a year ago that I had my soul mate in a 15 pound bouncing, barking terrier. <br />
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Every day I wish there was something else I could to to have Jackie back, but there is not. The back seat of my car is still empty, child lock is strangely off in the car, the porch is still missing a guardian, my bed is colder, and life is a little quieter and slower. I realize how lucky I am to have had such an amazing dog. She was my soul mate dog and I know there will never be another like her. She was a class clown, a dictator, and the best friend you never had rolled into one. Her antics were always good for a laugh, and her tongue always cleaned up tears. On the day I lost Jackie our vet passed on a comforting thought: we are all brought on the Earth to learn how to love, Jackie just learned very quickly.<br />
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Here's to you Miss Jackie O, you will always be loved.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-2125286893796626042011-06-12T10:01:00.000-06:002011-06-12T10:01:14.667-06:00The Men In My LifeEarlier this year I received news that one of my high school teachers was diagnosed with ALS. To say this was a kick in the gut is an understatement. That teacher was the one who pushed me on the path to becoming an engineer. He mentored my high school robotics team, was my adviser, and was also the first person whom I would consider a mentor. Looking back I realize there have been a few very strong mentors in my life. These would be the men in my life. <br />
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I remember many long days in the robotics lab spent learning about tools, how to build things, and why things work the way they do. Loh taught me how to figure things out and why prototyping is so important. He was happy to explain why a concept worked the way it did by building. Torque was taught through gears and a robotics arm. This was my first introduction to hands on learning. Loh also helped teach me calculus and physics by showing me their applications. I still remember Loh being my constant source of support during college applications and even to this day. When I got into MIT, I walked into his office with the admissions letter, said nothing, and handed to him. He nearly cried while reading it. When I finally chose to go to Olin he said he was proud I chose somewhere that was a better fit for me. When I got my current job launching rockets he asked to be kept informed of all the launches I worked and wants to hear all about what happens. He was the first person who really encouraged me that I could be an engineer and go out and do great things.<br />
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In college I met Oscar. He helped get me over my fears of not understanding things since I was suddenly thrust into a world of guys with egos who always said they knew everything. Oscar took time to help me work through things so I fully understood them, then could apply them. He convinced me that I actually did know what I was doing and pushed me to reach beyond what I thought I could do. Without Oscar I am fairly convinced I wouldn't have survived college. He also taught me one of the most important lessons, that I not only can I be an engineer, I am an engineer. <br />
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In college I also met Ben. He was a manager at a major defense contractor, I was, well, me about 4 years ago. Confused as to what I wanted to do post college, looking for guidance, and well, in he walked to my life. He was the person who gave me the courage to know that I could pursue a career in aerospace, and on top of that he helped me get one and is now helping me through it. He recently retired but he is still apart of my life. <br />
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A little over a year ago I ran into a guy at work who works out at the launch site. We some how fell into a mentor/mentee relationship after a few months and from him I have learned a lot about not only the industry I work in, but how to survive the working world. Ron has been the one who told me I could do something when I doubted myself and helped make things happen when I started trying to improve things and someone yelled at me to get out of their sandbox. He has helped me learn to deflect harsh critics, and stand on my own feet. When things go well he has been the one ready with a pat on the back, but he has also been the one there when I have screwed up and needed help figuring out how to repair things. Ron has always been there for a moment of levity when the going gets rough, and there even when my triumphs could impact him negatively. That to me is the true meaning of a selfless person. If I am able to learn even a few things from him I will be very lucky.<br />
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All of these men have shaped my life in dramatic ways, some more than others. Without them I would not be an engineer, not be in aerospace, not be a lot of things. I am grateful for everyone of them. Half of them have actually acknowledged they are a mentor, and the other half have not, but that makes no difference. What you learn from a person and take with you does not depend on a label. I know what I have learned from these<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> people is greater than they will know. Loh taught me about the quest for knowledge, Oscar showed me the confidence within myself, Ben pushed me to reach for my dreams, and Ron is helping me achieve them while keeping a sense of humor. </span></span><br />
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</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">"<span style="color: black;">A great mentor guides without giving the answers, teaches through discovery, demonstrates without lecturing, provides support from backstage, observes without hovering, and leads by example."</span></span></div>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-83126182294989328082010-12-19T22:06:00.004-07:002010-12-19T22:07:19.035-07:00The Boys ClubThis week was one of those weeks where I burned out on the Boys Club. By the end of it I am not proud to say I was a crabby mess who just wanted to get away from work. The odd part about this was it had been a great week. I finished my first semester of my masters degree, had a fantastic performance review, and things are really going well. I just need a break from the boys. <br />
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There are days when being the only woman in my lab is like being slapped in the face over, and over again. There is no blatant sexism, there are just the little things that seem to pile up and this week the bucket overflowed. <br />
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Ever been oggled during a data review where you are just trying to do your job? Yep, twice this week. I made my lead go with me to the second data review since it was uncomfortable. Thankfully data reviews with that group are less frequent. <br />
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Ever had someone wave, walk right by, start to leave the room, then see your coworker and comment "oh, so there is someone who can help me!" This was concerning things that were more in my realm too. <br />
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Ever had people listen to you pitch slides but when questions arise they address them to your coworker? My coworker was only there to see what went on in data reviews. I was the "expert" in my system. <br />
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These are just some of the little slaps to the face. I have learned to tolerate most of them while working to change the tides. "Quit being such a girl about it" has already been removed from the collective vocabulary in the lab. To me part of being a woman in engineering is learning how to roll with some of the misunderstandings and keep going knowing that you are helping to make it better for both yourself and those behind you. <br />
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Somehow this week the bucket of tolerance was drained. I was tired of looking at the hierarchy in the lab that I have yet to break into. I was tired of seeing assignments handed to the other people and fighting for interesting work. I was tired of having things taken away when I ask for help. I was tired of being invisible. I was mostly just tired of it all. <br />
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Thankfully I have a boss who is awesome. She understands this battle since she has been here. I can talk to her without fear of things trickling back to the boys. She is proof that I can do this. She even told me to go home early Friday when I was burned out and on top of that offered to talk to call my lead to up date him on a test they were trying to run this weekend so I wouldn't have to talk to him. She's helped me learn how to deal with one of the guys , understating I wanted to learn how to stand up for myself and not have someone come save the day. I know I still have a lot left to learn from her, and I hope I can continue to do so. <br />
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Thankfully this week is another week. The holidays are coming up soon, and things are always getting better. I can only hope that one day the women behind me will not be facing these same battles.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-52893777639686270542010-07-23T16:25:00.002-06:002010-07-23T16:25:00.653-06:00Taken Care OfCurrently there is a kick of the guys saying they need to get me married off so I can "be taken care of". I has now happened enough that I cannot just push it off to something the guys say as a joke just to get my goat. <br />
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I've told them I do not need to be taken care of.<br />
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Another woman has told them I don't need to be taken care of.<br />
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Clearly they think I still do. Yes, there are some things my girly strength cannot do, like lift the ~60lb boxes of 13'' tapes. Yet there are a lot of things I can do, and when my (lack of) physical strength gets in the way, I figure out how to get around it.<br />
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I know I can take care of myself and I am exhausted of the implications that I cannot. I've moved half way across the country twice. I've lived away from family for the past five years. I am fairly certain at this point I can easily make it on my own. <br />
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Training seven guys how to work with a girl for the first time has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I still find it amazing that I am the first woman in the lab so I chalk most of the moments up to lack of understanding. Once I explain how things come off to me, most of them try to change. It helped fix the "quit being such a girl about it" comments, we'll see if it can fix this problem as well.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-7419464466238432472010-05-09T19:55:00.000-06:002010-05-09T21:06:02.063-06:009 months laterSome how it has been 9 months since I started working and about a year since I graduated college. A person at Olin said to me that as you grow up, time speeds up. I now fully understand the impact of that statement.<br /><br />I still remember my first days at work, my first launches, and the uncertainty that seemed to follow me daily. Messing up data is a fairly big problem.<br /><br />Nine months later I feel like I almost know what I am doing. Two weeks ago I ran my first operation on my own. All on my own. It was a Saturday. If things went bad it was me, myself, and a lot of luck. (and the guys at the site if we lost data) My lead claimed he was not even going to answer his phone if I called in a panic. A few hours after the test started he called to check in on me to make sure I was ok. Somehow I pulled things off.<br /><br />I also recently have been accepted to graduate school and will be starting a masters degree in electrical engineering part time this fall. Add to this that I am planning on taking the FE exam in October if I get my act together and get the application in on time.<br /><br />I feel like things are really settling in. I still may be learning daily but I feel like I can grasp what is going on without the deer in headlights look I had for the first few months. Last week's idiotic move was not using proper (com) net etiquette on a net that went both to the site and customers. I won a head lock and a hair mess up from my lead for that one. As I said to a guy at the site after that moment "that falls under things they don't teach you in college". Turns out in this industry/job most of my life is in that category. VMS, telemetry stream formats, processing, half of the specialized applications I use on a daily basis are all under "things they don't teach you in college".<br /><br />I am continually thankful I work with a great group of guys and have both a boss and lead who are great people. It really is the people who make the job, not the work. They all know I still only have half a clue what is going on. My boss remembers her first few years and is willing to help me figure out how to get things done and even grease the wheels when things need to get done quickly. My lead is fantastic at teaching, even if he grumbles about it some days.<br /><br />The best part about this? I am giving a presentation at a data review in the morning. Olin prepared me for a lot of presentations, but not ones that have this much hanging on them. I keep thinking of SCOPE Expo with higher stakes. At least this time I can show up in jeans, leave after I present, and I bring backup to help with questions.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-37553070695284646882009-12-11T14:50:00.001-07:002009-12-11T15:58:52.404-07:00The Range Is Not All About ShuttleIt has taken a nose dive into the expendable launch vehicle world for me to see that the world of rocketry does not revolve around the space shuttle. Shuttle is the most visible, but Atlas and Delta are the work horses of the US space program.<br /><br />When the range was booked with an Atlas V launch, Shuttle, and then a Delta IV launch all within four days. Delta held its own until it slipped even though it had been asked to move previously. When Atlas scrubbed the sense I got from the news, and social media was that Atlas should have yielded to the range to shuttle, stood down, allowed shuttle to launch, and then made their attempt. It shouldn't have even made that first attempt.<br /><br />Excuse me?<br /><br />Atlas had the range before shuttle, they were ready to fly. Delta also should not have been asked to move. They had the range before shuttle. Yet there was an outcry that both should have moved.<br /><br />This leaves me confused. Yes, manned programs may be the most visible programs from the public but the other programs are just as valuable. Look at the history of the manned space flight program and there is Atlas right at the start. The rovers wouldn't be on Mars without the Delta program. Unmanned flight has allowed us to explore further than the Moon and LEO. An Atlas V sent a probe to Pluto where we cannot dream of sending humans at the moment; Delta launched Kepler which is searching for more Earth-like planets. <br /><br />I have nothing against the manned space flight program (it got me into science in the first place, and I will be eternally thankful for that); I just challenge everyone who holds it as the pinnacle of the industry to look further. Do not hold the manned program above the unmanned programs. Both have made their contributions and created inspiration. Shuttle cannot keep up with the launch rate of the unmanned programs, but the unmanned programs do not have the human exploration element.<br /><br />I will now jump off my soap box.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-53675608481698689252009-11-09T19:04:00.007-07:002009-11-10T20:31:56.211-07:00Ares I-XAres I-X went off over a week ago and it marked a good day in the lab despite a nasty snow storm outside.<br /><br />It went off on its second attempt after being foiled by ships, triboelectrification (that brings back memories from NASA's spaceflight hardware handling certification class), and a cover protecting sensors on the top of the vehicle. The guys supporting the launch on our side had been in since 11 pm for two nights in a row so things were pretty goofy when we actually launched around 9:30 am.<br /><br />Ares I-X was based on Atlas hardware so my lab supported the launch and is doing some data processing. I'm not sure to what extent we're doing things since I'm knee deep in preparing for WGS SV-3 and WISE.<br /><br />When the launch went off everyone in my lab gathered around our TVs with 9 feeds on each of them to watch it with the com system screaming in the background tuned to the main nets. We all wanted to witness the little bit of history that was being made no matter which way it went.<br /><br />It was that day that I learned that despite being called "girly girl" and being the only girl in the lab, I have become a part of the lab. The guys take great pride in playing jokes on each other and I walked in that day to find one pulled on me. My space heater was hidden away in its drawer like it is every night when I left the night before. If you know my lab, the heater is a requisite since the lab hovers around 62 deg F all the time due to the servers and other equipment we have. I walked in that morning to find my heater replaced by the box it came in. The heater was missing. Let me refer to Sayings of Mark Chapter 1, to explain how the other two people with heaters in my organization and I feel about our heaters: "Never get between a woman and her heater" . I walked out of my cube with my empty box slightly annoyed to find Roger and Mark laughing like crazy waiting for me to discover my missing heater. The initial blame went to Roger who is always up to something. This left Mark with an evil grin still laughing. His only response was "Girly, are you sure it's missing?"<br /><br />I go back to my cube, still without a heater. I finally look at shelves that are above my head (so clearly there is nothing on there since I cannot reach it) and find the heater.<br /><br />I did get a good laugh out of it. Putting something right where I can see it but never think to look is brilliant.<br /><br />With the first prank, I think I fit into the lab and no longer intimate the guys. Early on I was told I was intimidating since I was the first female the lab had ever had. They just didn't know how to deal with me. Clearly they are at least learning how to deal with me if they haven't fully figured it out already.<br /><br />The next month may be a little crazy since we have two launches close together, but hopefully they will not seek holidays as launches have in the past. I know at least one of them is one where I wish I could sleep shift.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-57094633159652082802009-10-08T18:52:00.005-06:002009-10-08T20:41:38.808-06:00Somehow I Get Paid To Do This<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicfAeyAcsbJ1-T0GGNy75reqvbvCJectzZjHRyvzP57Skw00fDX4hA2llrcFC6YOaR4Q2Y5eHF2hJ0GAeTTmqyUIPI1eKc7lqvYdwfyebXhSaBhba32rr_hNfqA3N8w8ZAzuFcB3RqPbQ/s1600-h/wv-2_launch.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicfAeyAcsbJ1-T0GGNy75reqvbvCJectzZjHRyvzP57Skw00fDX4hA2llrcFC6YOaR4Q2Y5eHF2hJ0GAeTTmqyUIPI1eKc7lqvYdwfyebXhSaBhba32rr_hNfqA3N8w8ZAzuFcB3RqPbQ/s320/wv-2_launch.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390399427868719378" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">Photo Credit: ULA<br /></span></div><br />Today I supported my second launch, Worldview-2 off SLC-2w at 281:18:51:00. And with it I realized things are really settling into place. I handled most of the processing myself, with only a glitch in creating archives thanks to the calibration files.<br /><br />Work is still going really well. The lab is shaping up to be a great group of guys, and we always manage to have a good time, even if it is 6 am and we've been at work since 1 am. I'm learning how to wrestle patch panels, play back 12'' analog tapes, and deal with data recording. My lab lead has taught me all this in a very Olin style of spiral learning. The second I figure out what I'm doing in one area of the data station I'm tossed into the next. I have a feeling I'll soon be dealing with the decommutators for our live data streams. I am thankful I learned how to swim in the deep end early on in life since panic has been minimal at each new turn.<br /><br />I'm meeting with Ben over lunch on Monday since despite settling in to work, I still need the best outside voice I have found. After STSS Demo Ben sent a surprise "Congratulations" email which was one of the best congratulations I got. He has also been an amazing amount of help with the move and my general, "so I'm now living in Colorado, how do I?" questions. I still cannot believe it has been over two years since I first met him. I am amazingly lucky to have such an awesome mentor in my life.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-70849080915249864202009-09-25T13:20:00.004-06:002009-09-25T13:56:22.772-06:00This is why my job is awesome<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDKVwuLljSkXxhA7LF-iNarc_gB7qkSiacQGA293kRj2khB8whxZbG54_5gipXSes7WonBjI9sZ0fvDJDCWG_xf0HSWPCqmlsY_irKjIrYdCQ9_RsEGUyeDZs7Gj0_x38QIcmkVuVcv-Y/s1600-h/2009-5235-m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDKVwuLljSkXxhA7LF-iNarc_gB7qkSiacQGA293kRj2khB8whxZbG54_5gipXSes7WonBjI9sZ0fvDJDCWG_xf0HSWPCqmlsY_irKjIrYdCQ9_RsEGUyeDZs7Gj0_x38QIcmkVuVcv-Y/s320/2009-5235-m.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385496297059920354" border="0" /></a><br />This morning was my first launch, STSS Demo launched on a Delta II out of CCAFS on SLC-17B at 268:12:20:00 GMT.<br /><br />Even though I got into work at 12:30 am and left around 9 am, with little sleep beforehand, it was an amazing experience to be apart of a launch team. I reported to work an hour before the DLSC call to station and began processing data soon after. All of the live data was released today with bundles of data to be processed in the coming weeks. Worldview is also quickly approaching followed quickly by WGS-3.<br /><br />Go Delta II and STSS Demo! You never forget your first!Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-61074714423545595072009-09-12T21:04:00.003-06:002009-09-12T22:45:53.428-06:00Starting AgainAnd so my Colorado adventure has begun. I am currently three weeks into my new job, and sitting in my new apartment.<br /><br />I think I also may have one of the coolest jobs ever. I am currently the Delta Data Processor. If data comes off that rocket, I have my hands on it. I live for that data. It means I am deeply involved in launches, tests, and telemetry in general. I have a great group of guys I work with and things are so far going well.<br /><br />I'm learning that new jobs are a lot of do-learn and figuring things out, but even if there are the roller coaster days, things have a positive slope. I've been dumped in the middle of processing data for GPSIIR-21 and was releasing files my second week on the job. This week I was preparing for the STSS-Demo launch targeted for the 18th. I have my days where I feel like I can handle things, and others where I feel like a complete idiot.<br /><br />The scariest part of this experience has not been the job, but the move. I happily have Jackie by my side which has made this a little less harrowing, but turning my life upside down, leaving friends behind in Boston, family in Dallas, and starting a new job all at once is a lot to process at once. Thankfully I've had a two people who have been there for me the whole time, one at work, and one outside of work.<br /><br />I'm excited to work launches and continue on this adventure. This may not have been the job I originally saw myself doing but I think things have worked out for the best. This is a great place to start and learn everything about a vehicle and its systems.<br /><br />Now, if only I could find a couch that matches the dog.....Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-70537613832634458082009-07-26T21:24:00.002-06:002009-07-26T21:29:46.679-06:00The Best Week Ever<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_L3rf889LlR4/SmI3MZFpiVI/AAAAAAAAEU4/41cpws_RklA/s512/IMG_2190.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 407px; height: 315px;" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_L3rf889LlR4/SmI3MZFpiVI/AAAAAAAAEU4/41cpws_RklA/s512/IMG_2190.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Two weeks ago was one of the most exciting weeks I can remember. I really hope I will never forget it.<br /><br />As mentioned previously, I was given passes to the STS-127 Launch so I was out in Florida attempting to catch the launch after an 18 hour road trip. The launch had been scrubbed Saturday early on in the day which gave us a day on the beach; Sunday the launch was scrubbed at the T - 9 hold due to weather violations. On Sunday we had made it as far as getting on the buses and making it out to the launch viewing area before it scrubbed.<br /><br />Sunday also begins the best week ever. The company who was putting the buses together originally had three of them going, the one we were on broke down. There were 14 seats left on the other buses. Some how we got some of those seats. I do not ask how.<br /><br />After the scrub we came back and spent the evening touring UCF and meeting characters such as Beth Lathe, known for destroying the SEDS-UCF Space Plinko Board. It was weird being at a big school but at the same time I think I'm ready to try one for graduate school. Olin was a great size for me for undergrad, but it is time to move on to something bigger.<br /><br />Monday brought us another scrub, but a day of fun. We spent the day in Cocoa Beach starting with Starbucks which is where I first heard the rumors of upcoming good news. Keri and I started acting like the crazy people we were in the middle of Starbucks which likely made all of Cocoa Beach think we're crazy. Oh well.<br /><br />We hit up the Dinosaur Museum across the street for silly fun which was aimed at four year olds, but awesome none the less. After that we headed out to the Cape for another launch attempt. Keri and I were caught by the person in charge of the bus singing Journey at the top of our lungs in the parking lot so she likely has the idea that we're slightly nuts, but I'm ok with that.<br /><br />The launch attempt scrubed at the T-9 min hold once again after it looked so promising earlier in the day. It was a 48 hour scrub and after our trip we knew we wanted to stick it out. Neither of us had to be home before Friday.<br /><br />Tuesday we headed to Downtown Disney and saw the Lego Store, a Disney store that required a map, and more. It was also Tuesday when I finally received the job offer of my dreams.<br /><br />I've been working hard to chase down a job in the space industry since September and I finally did it. I've been rejected countless times after to applying to an unknown number of jobs. I've been to both coasts and the center part of the country. I've been called technically incompetent and also been told I was going to take over the place. People have told me they have fears about me failing, since I don't fail. (Oh really?). But I never landed that perfect job. I've continually been the second choice candidate. I found two jobs in the Northeast which is an area I love but feel that I need to try something new for a while. Both of them were defense jobs, and mostly involved programing. The third job was also a defense job, working on missile production in an area of the country I'm afraid I'd melt in. Closer to right, but still not quite there.<br /><br />Finally, this job came in at the last second (I was about to sign the third offer) and was everything I wanted. It is a job working on rocket avionics in a city I want to live in. Needless to say I'm happy.<br /><br />Wednesday was what we came for. Our third time out to the cape was the charm. Watching a shuttle launch was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Words will never be able to do justice to it. If I there is a way to get paid to sit out and watch launches all day, I need to find out how.<br /><br />After seeing a launch in person watching them on NASA TV will look tame. I was 3.3 miles away from the most beautiful thing in the world. I really have to say watching a space shuttle launch ranks above graduating from college. A mentor just gave me the best graduation gift ever. Ben sent an email after the launch that simply said "<span id=":xr" class="hP"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-size:100%;" >HOW ABOUT THAT, your graduation present...</span><wbr style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-size:100%;" >..........</span><wbr style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;font-size:100%;" >....." Yeah, that about sums it up.<br /><br />Getting both job of my dreams and a shuttle launch in 24 hours is something I still cannot believe happened.<br /></span></span><br />We began our drive back home Wednesday night after a stop at Dairy Queen. On our drive out of Florida we ran into two gas station heists. You normally only see those on TV but from the comfort of the car we got to witness the police surrounding two gas stations, and a life flight helicopter landing on the high way. We were also able to witness a super cell descending on Orlando. A fairly exciting night.<br /><br />Thrusday we completed the drive home with minimal stops. Louisiana still ranks as a scary place I hope to never have to live.<br /><br />Friday was the day I signed my job offer, completing an amazing week.<br /><br />I still cannot believe I landed the job of my dreams and will be working on rockets. I guess it proves that a little persistence and a lot of luck pays off. Ad Astra.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-62144778800756506562009-07-01T19:07:00.000-06:002009-07-01T20:54:49.426-06:00MentorsToday I received a gift that I cannot even begin to say thank you enough for, passes to the STS-127 launch on July 11th. I was given these by a mentor who has been in my life since my junior year at Olin. <br /><br />This opportunity made me step back and look at how things have changed in the past few years and how much I have learned from Ben. Before this relationship started I never realized the value of having someone around who is completely detached from the situation you are in. I've always had people around who I can ask for help since they've been there before me, but they've always been closely involved. Ben was completely detached. He was half a country away physically, and worlds away otherwise. The value of this became evident when my life needed to be put into perspective. What seemed to me like a big hurdle was small when put into perspective. The job search always seemed like a huge hurdle, but he helped break it down into small bits, showed me how to put the big picture together, and win at the game.<br /><br />I also see how much I've grown up in two years. I am now a slightly more confident version of who I was then. Part of that was that I kept getting dusted off every time I feel flat on my face, be it failing a test or making an idiot of myself. Last summer's rough spot was met with a lot of "keep going"s along with the knowledge that I always had someone pulling for me. I am very changed from that experience. I cannot thank him and everyone else who pulled me through last summer enough since they kept me in engineering.<br /><br />Finding a mentor is likely one of the best things that happened to me while I was at Olin. My butt has been kicked when it needed to be. There is a memorable moment when a proofread version of my cover letter came back looking like someone had bleed on it. It needed it. Currently my job interviewing skills are under fire, but again, they need to be fixed. I'm currently not doing well on interviews since I am trying so hard I panic.<br /><br />Finding a mentor has also allowed me to see my situation from a different perspective and take advice form someone who has experience in a field that I am still attempting to get started in. I have also been able gain exposure to a lot of sides of engineering since I'm the EE who may not exactly be normal.<br /><br />I had the chance to talk with Ben in early June while he was in between meetings and I had just completed a job interview. I'm fairly certain I will never forget that experience. We have the exact same sense of humor which is dangerous in large doses.<br /><br />There are never enough ways to say thank you to a good mentor since they can be everything from someone who picks you back up when you fall flat on your face, a guide when you're lost in the woods, a wise elder with answers when you need them most, to even a friend. I'm counting my blessings that I have found a mentor that can do all of that and more. Ben is one amazing mentor, and the STS-127 passes are just more evidence that can be held against him.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-64229581792523240282009-05-03T21:38:00.001-06:002009-05-03T21:49:59.213-06:00The Things I Learned From FIRSTWith the end of Championship, four years of FIRST at Olin have now come to a close. I came into these four years not knowing the magnitude of what I was stepping into. I had no idea how to mentor my freshman year, slowly picked up the idea my sophomore year, and took over my junior year even if I still had no clue what I was doing.<br /><br />I'm now leaving this episode of FIRST with a much better idea of how to communicate, lead, and plan projects. I now have also have some confidence. It takes guts to publicly shame yourself as many times as I do a year. Engineers are not known for their eye-hand coordination or dancing skills. FIRST has also shown me I'm a project manager. I never would have seen myself in this role until I kept ending up there.<br /><br />Finally, FIRST has also given me the best network I will ever have. I now have contacts in almost every city I could move to when I "grow up". The judges have coached me on interviewing; they've helped me make connections, and are training me on how to shape a career still on the launch pad. Overall, I feel like I'm very well set up to start a job.<br /><br />I really have learned a lot from this experience. But, no FIRST final event would be complete without a list. So here it is:<br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >Things I have Learned from FIRST</span></span><br /><blockquote>0) Given enough caffeine, almost anything is possible.<br /><br />1) a. Make friends, they will help you later. Be it getting VIP passes, or a place to stay, friends are great people.<br />1) b. if you happen to have the wrong name on the VIP pass you're using, it is highly unlikely anyone will notice; even if it is the name Paul and you happen to be female.<br /><br />2) Get a little, give a little. 5 copies of the pit map can win you a lot more than you think.<br /><br />3) Never admit you have resources that include a printer.<br /><br />4) Most high level engineers are really little kids at heart. There is always enough room to play Frisbee inside and get the "stop playing games in the house" look from the judge adviser.<br /><br />5) Adults are more intense than kids, most of the time.<br /><br />6) The things that make you look powerful (radios) get annoying. People think you know what you're doing.<br /><br />7) a. You eventually get over embarrassing yourself in front of large crowds of people<br />7) b .You cannot delete every single embarrassing picture, so learn to live with them.<br /><br />8) a. Any event where you do not end up on the floor of the event office debating a nap is a good one.<br />8) b. Any event where they use your correct name (even you've screwed up) over the radio, is also a good one. It means the know who you are. (Reference: "Judge Judy")<br /><br />9) Grappa does not stop tasting like lighter fluid, even after the first sip.<br /><br />10) As Colin says: sleep is for wimps.</blockquote>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-83452905217352064592009-04-02T14:36:00.000-06:002009-04-03T18:43:06.580-06:00On The RoadI swear I've been on the road for a semester and a half. <br /><br />I just went through the list of places I've been and well, its long. <br /><br />Owego, NY<br />Moorestown, NJ<br />Newport, RI<br />Cambridge, MA<br />Chelmsford, MA<br />Dallas, TX<br />Laurel, MD<br />Houston, TX<br />Newtown, PA<br />Boston, MA. <br /><br /><br />Each of these trips has required planning on my part that has taken a significant amount of time. Yes, the Boston/Cambridge/Chelmsford trips may not be long in travel time, but that does not account for the planning hours. Cambridge was a job interview, Chelmsford was two major presentations, and Boston was building a robot that was the culmination of six weeks of insanity. <br /><br />I am now mastering the art of rent cars and hotels. Be nice to the overly tired rental car agency late at night and they may not put you in that too small, hamster driven car. Same goes for the middle of the day when there are no less than 4 screaming kids and two angry business travelers. While driving that tiny car you may have to pray that you aren't crushed under a semi. Also, while turning on the car turn the volume on the radio down as fast as you can. You may be greeted by Christmas music at Halloween or rap music at 11 pm at night. <br /><br />Hotels normally will let you into your room late at night. Even if you show up rain soaked at midnight, they will not cancel your room. Sometimes they will even have a free breakfast. Why in their right mind they ask if you want the directions to the fitness center when you are checking in at midnight and out at 7 am I still have not figured out. <br /><br />There is also now defined smell in my life that is "airport" and "hotel". I have mastered TSA security to a level I never imagined. I know I need exactly two gray bins. No more, no less. After a few gross bathrooms I now carry hand sanitizer on me at all times. I also carry food after a few too many delayed flights at Logan. I could likely eat a meal or four out of my stash. <br /><br />After all of this is said and done, the one major rule of adventures is still what can go wrong, will go wrong. I end up with plans A, B, C, and D. Flights are always delayed, traffic always happens, I get lost, and things happen. All of this has shown that I have an amazing ability to deal with change and make things happen despite problems. I think this may be Olin or the fact that I grew up in a barn kicking in. <br /><br />Travel really makes me value the short amount of time I have left at Olin. Coming home to my own bed, in my own room, is likely the highlight of any trip. The only thing that would make this better is having my dog here to welcome me home; however, in a few short months this will become a reality.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-71028221942798585852009-03-22T11:41:00.000-06:002009-03-24T08:15:37.215-06:00Women in TechnologyMarch 24th is an Internet declared holiday of Ada Lovelace Day. It is meant to gain awareness that there is gender inequality still present in technology and draw attention to women excelling despite it. <br /><br />Normally I'd pass these things over. The Internet doesn't really declare a holiday, but this one resonated too strongly. The mention of the need for female role models, the hidden discrimination, and <a href="http://findingada.com/blog/2009/01/05/ada-lovelace-day/">more</a> all are things I've seen. It hit me too deep in the gut to let this go. <br /><br />But I'm not here to dwell on the past. I try and let that experience go and hope that things get better. <br /><br />There are a few women I do admire in technology. Many of them are FIRST Judges. They are the movers and shakers in technology that I have had the opportunity to talk to on a level that without FIRST I would not have had the chance. Some of them have been told nice girls don't do science. Most of them are now high ranking engineers. All of them are amazing people. Helen, Deborah, Sherra, Joann, Cindy, Leann, Sue, Peko, Alex, Elaine, and more I know I'm forgetting. Every one of them is amazing in their own right. Chief Engineers, Program Managers, Professors, Deans, World Conquerers, Robot Builders, Entrepreneurs, Scientists. They are out there as the role models I missed out on. <br /><br />There are astronauts too. Sunita, Sally, Shannon, Eileen. One day I may be crazy enough to join them. You are the superstars that helped drag me into engineering, the others have just kept me here. <br /><br />There is finally Amy. I've never met someone with as much drive and resilience. She has shown me that anything is possible and gender does not matter. She's also been the kick when I'm stuck and need a hand. Thank you. <br /><br />I really cannot say enough about the women in technology I look up to. They come from all over the country, and every industry. But each one of them is proof that it is possible to be a successful female engineer despite everything that tells you no.Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2139041686781195704.post-1869382837930111452009-03-01T09:00:00.000-07:002009-04-06T09:18:42.592-06:00Who am I<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I first wrote this over a year ago, and it is about time for an updated version.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'm starting to learn it is both my actions and my choices who define me, along with my reactions to events around me. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">California last summer changed who I was and who I see myself as.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Here goes another round at trying to define me.<br /><br /><br />I am the person who has danced the Macarena with a past CEO of Apple, the CEO of Vecna, the inventor of the Ethernet, and more, in front of more people than I care to count.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I have gone careening through an empty parking lot on top of a rolling table.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I now accept that these moments will haunt me later on in life and enjoy making an idiot of myself at the time.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I've been inside a space shuttle, on the top of a launch pad, and stood under an Atlas rocket. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">(Have you hugged a rocket today?) </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I dream so much, my head is stuck in the clouds. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I took a leap of faith and went to a school under construction and at some points I have regretted this choice.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I've eaten lunch with Jack Hanna, and heard Gloria Steinem speak. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I drove around for weeks with a robot in the back of my car, leaving people unable to ride in it.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I've mucked horse stalls more times that I've cleaned my room, and I'd still rather muck a stall. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I may be over the age of 12, but I still want a pony (in chestnut, please).</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'm still afraid that a monster may jump out of my closet and get me one night even though he's been vanquished from under my bed.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I enjoy the company of animals. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Horses taught me patience, and slowed me down.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Dogs taught me to enjoy simple things.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Flight fascinates me.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Growing up scares me.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I love galloping down dirt roads for no reason at all.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I try to smile at every chance, even when life hands me a bowl of lemons. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I've been called a "fire cracker" and the girl with the most guts around here. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">After four years of college, I've finally stopped always feeling like a chicken. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'm green around the edges, and even though I appear to know what I'm doing, I really don't.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I've learned to hide my nearly constant fear of the unknown.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'd rather help others than myself.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ve set off a model rocket engine while holding it in a leather man, losing all of my arm hair in the process. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ve also launched model rockets with a 9V battery and wires a foot long.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m amazed I’m still alive.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I think I know what I want to do with life, but the idea of knowing what I'll be doing scares me. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">The idea of not knowing where I’ll be living in 6 months scares me more.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I play chase with my Jack Russell Terrier, and am just as hard headed as she is.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'm constantly afraid I'm wrong, or am harming someone in some way. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I hate disappointing people.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">One person tries to see how many times in a weekend he is able to make me blush. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">He also knows the progression in which my face turns red and will happily give you a running commentary.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I'll try my hardest as long as I have proof something matters. I may have grown up in a big city, but I’m a small town girl at heart.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I have a strange love of pickup trucks (4WD, diesel is the only way to go).</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I respect people who do their jobs professionally despite adversity and face diversity head on. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I respect them more so if they help others accomplish their goals. I enjoyed my summer in California but it messed with my head. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Now I need to recalibrate the amount I speak up; Olin makes me speak up too much, California not at all. </span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’ve been told that my ability to laugh at myself and my passion for life will keep me going much longer than anything else and I hope this is true. I know after last summer I am one tough, smart cookie.<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I always hope I’m making Dad proud. </span></p>Ashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11019943592900750374noreply@blogger.com0